Monday, July 21, 2008

For Those Poor Souls With A Pain Or Bump In Their Left Nut

I enjoy watching the Feedjit Live Traffic Feed to see how people end up on my blog. The latest search came through Google and this poor soul was searching for "There is something behind my left Nut what is it?". He ended up here. I also see a lot of "Pain in my left nut" searches. These people must be sore-ly disappointed when they arrive here. As a public...pubic(?) service, I'm going to give a bit of an anatomy lesson tonight.

Ok guys, take your nut in hand and feel the back side of your nut. Do you feel something that feels like a bundle of worms? That is your epididymis and that is where your sperm mature and grow their tails. Now, if there is no pain or swelling, you're good. If it seems tender and swollen, it could be epididymitis. This is usually caused by an infection. Older men can get urinary reflux due to an enlarged prostate which can lead to the infection following the vas to the epididymis. You may also get an infection if you practice "alternative sex" and drive e coli into the urethra.

Another cause for swelling is a hydrocele. Usually these do not hurt. (I lived with one for over 40 years before having it repaired). Now, how to tell a hydrocele from a tumor. Okay boys, get out your flashlight and go into a dark closet. Take your testicle and place it over the flashlight and turn it on. (The FLASHLIGHT STUPID!) If you have a hydrocele, it will glow a lovely light. If it is a mass, it will not shine through. Easy!

What else can go wrong with your left nut? Well, you do regular self-exams...right? The best time is in the shower when the scrotum is warm and relaxed and is nice and soapy. Isolate each testicle within the scrotum and with the other hand, feel all surfaces. If your feel an abnormal lump, and it does not transilluminate, you should see a urologist at the first opportunity. If you have had a vasectomy, you could be getting cysts (from experience here guys). Your doctor may try antibiotics if an ultrasound shows it to be benign. I finally had to opt for surgery.

Now, surgery is a last resort, guys. Remember that time you got kicked in the 'nads? Nothing compared to this. Imagine putting your "jewels" into a vise and then having someone tightening the vise. Get the picture? The key, if you have to have surgery, is and more ice. Did I mention ice? Do NOT be macho and try to go to work the same day as the surgery. BAD idea (voice of experience). Also, be ready for the worst bout of nausea you've ever experienced. Would I do the surgery again? In a heartbeat. I'm now pain-free and I got the 2-for-1 special in that they repaired the hydrocele "as long as we are in there".

I hope that I answered some of your questions and I hope that the trip to my blog wasn't a waste for you now. If you have questions, e-mail me or leave a comment. I allow anonymous comments, so you don't have to leave your name. Now that your nut feels better, it's time to do the "happy dance"

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Now, for all the lawyers out there: This posting is not meant to treat or diagnose any medical problems, for anybody. These are my personal observations based upon personal experiences. As always, your results may vary. Take everything you read on the internet with a grain of salt. If in doubt, see your doctor. If you fail to see your doctor based upon what you have read here, and your nut explodes, don't blame are the idiot who went to the internet for answers instead of going to see your doctor.

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